Practical Tips You Can Use to Help Those Facing Serious Illness        (Advance November 3, 2002)

1.  Don't avoid me. Be the friend, the loved one you've always been.

2.  Touch me. A simple squeeze of the hand tells me you still care.

3.  Call and tell me you're bringing over my favorite dish. Bring food in disposable containers, which I don't have to worry about returning.

4.  Watch my children while I take a little time to be alone with my loved one. My children also may need a little vacation from my illness.

5.  Cry with me when I cry and laugh with me when I laugh. Don't be afraid to share these emotions with me. Pain isolates. Help me reconnect with others.

6.  Take me out for a pleasure trip, but know my limitations.

7.  Call for my shopping list and make a special delivery to my home.

8.  Before you visit, call to let me know, but don't be afraid to visit. I need you. I can get lonely.

9.  Help me celebrate holidays (and life) by decorating my hospital room or home, or by bringing me flowers or other natural treasures.

10.  Help my family. Invite them out. Take them places. I am sick, but they may be suffering also.  Offer to come and stay with me to give my loved ones a break.

11.  Be creative. Bring me a book of thoughts, taped music, a poster for my wall, cookies to share with my family and friends.

12.  Let's talk about it. Maybe I need to talk about my illness. Find out by asking me, "Do you like talking about it?"

13.  Don't always feel we have to talk. Sitting quietly together is fine.

14.  Can you take me and/or my children somewhere? I may need transportation to a treatment,  to the store, or to my physician.

15.  Help me feel good about my looks.

16.  Please include me in decision making. I've been robbed of so many things. Please don't deny me a chance to make decisions within my family or my life.

17.  Talk to me about the future.   Tomorrow, next week, next year. Hope is so important to me.

18.  Bring me a positive attitude.  It's catching. Help me respect reality.

19.  What's in the news?  Magazines, photos, newspapers and verbal reports keep me from feeling the world is passing me by.

20.  Could you help me with some cleaning? During my illness, my family and I still face dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and a dirty house.

21.   Water my flowers.

22.  Just send a card to let me know you care.

23.  Pray for me and share your faith with me.

24.  Tell me how you'd like to help me and, when I agree, please do so.

25.   Tell me about support groups so I can share with others

(From The Centre for Hospice & Palliative Care web page - www.hospicebuffalo.org)
 

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