Positive Feelings About Caregiving

When I was asked last week to make a presentation on the joys of caregiving, I immediately thought about the positive experience caring for my grandmother.   Most of the books on the subject of caregiving provide information about how to deal with the negative feelings - guilt, fear, anger, grief - and so few mention the good feelings you can have about caregiving.

You might look on caregiving as an opportunity for personal growth.  Accepting the
responsibilities of a caregiver takes a person with extraordinary qualities.  Take pride in that.  As a caregiver, you are going to receive an education about your own talents and strengths, about the person’s disabilities, about the health care system in your community and beyond.  You may find you can use this information in new ways.

It is not easy caring for another adult.  The person may be demanding and constantly finding fault with what you do.  If so, you can still feel good about yourself and the difference you are making in that person’s life.  Set as your goal the bringing out of the positive traits in your own and your loved one’s personalities.

Do you feel guilty about feeling happy when there is illness?   Try to look on  it as a gift to help keep your sanity.  Don’t feel badly if you laugh about the mistakes a confused person makes.  The person may even laugh along, even though they don’t understand what is funny. 

Joy in caregiving can come through memories lived and relived.  Reminiscing helps work through losses by thinking and talking about happy, past events.

Here are some words that might make you think of a pleasurable caregiving experience:

• contentment
• satisfaction
• fulfillment
• feeling a sense of purpose
• hope
• commitment
• feeling useful
• helping others
• pleasure in small things
• giving pleasure to another
• feeling appreciated 

I saw raindrops on my window
Joy is like the rain
Laughter runs across my pain,
slips away and comes again.
Joy is like the rain.

(Sister Miriam Therese Winter of the Medical Mission Sisters)

For information, please contact Karen at Caregiver Support Network, 1-800-777-2205 or 646-7677.

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