Planting a Caregiving Garden

As the month of April begins with the celebration of Easter, we also look forward to the return of robins and those first green shoots poking through the ground.  The urge to get digging in that sweet smelling earth grips some of us with a passion.   We’re all aware that you “reap what you sow”, so you’d better dig in and plant a healthy caregiving garden.

First, plant a row of “peas”. 

Patience - Caregiving requires an endless supply of patience.  You may be asked the same question over and over again, things may be hidden or lost, packing to “go home” may be a daily occurrence - only unshakable patience and understanding will prevent you from blowing your top. 

Peace of Mind - Caregivers are plagued by feelings of doubt.  “Am I doing the right thing?”  There are no easy decisions to be made and many hard choices.  Cultivate the peace of mind that will allow you to realize you’re the best caregiver you can be. 

Preparedness - Taking one day at a time is surely the best caregiving strategy.  It’s also important to be prepared.  The course of illness can be unpredictable.

Now you’re ready to plant a row of “squash.”

Squash feelings of inadequacy - Education about the disease process and acceptance of your own limitations goes a long way towards building caregiving self-confidence.  Squash family squabbles - Family unity can be severed as each member responds to the demands this illness places on family structure.  You can’t control how others will react to the disease, only how you will react.  Squash catastrophic reactions - Don’t fight a battle you can’t win.  Arguing, rationalizing and reasoning with a person who has dementia is futile.  Instead, look for ways to soothe and calm the person you care for, both of you will have more peace.

Finally, plant a row of “turnips.” 

Turn up at support group meetings - Support groups can offer you emotional reassurance from folks who have walked a mile in your shoes.  Turn up at educational workshops - In addition to emotional support, caregivers need information.  Workshops are often designed to cover a variety of topics from stress management to home care.  Turn up at your doctor’s office - Caregivers need to remember to look after their own health.  You can’t be a caregiver for anyone until you care for yourself. 

Like all gardens, this one needs lots of TLC.  Just as a garden needs cool water, caregivers need to be refreshed by respite (time away).  Saturate your garden and reap a healthy harvest. (Adapted from Alzheimer Assoc. Of Alberta newsletter, summer 93) 

Caregiver Meetings: