Seven Things Children With Disabilities Want You to Know

Last week’s column featured a poem about some of the challenges which are faced by families caring for a child with long-term needs.  Today we look at the situation from the child’s or care receiver’s point of view.  Disabled children sense how we react to them.  We may not say or do anything unkind, but they can tell how we feel.  Although they are not always able to express themselves, they often understand more than you think.  Thoughtless little things hurt them; whispered remarks, snickers when things go wrong, being left out of school, social and church activities, even someone’s body language.  Here are some things disabled children would like you to know:
 

1. Accept me for whom I am.  Don’t be afraid to get to know me.  I may be slow physically or mentally, but I am good company when you give me a chance.  Take time to enjoy me.  I like to go places and do things with friends, but I don’t often get invited.
2. I like hugs, but don’t smother me.  Ask me first if you may have a hug.  When you open your arms to hug me, don’t be offended if I do not respond or if I push you away.  I may just need some space.  I especially like hugs when you are on your knees at my level.
3. Talk to me as you would any other person.  Don’t speak to me in baby talk.  I am not an infant or a pet.  At times, I may have difficulty talking and my speech may sound different, but I try to say the words right.  Sometimes, I talk by signing with my hands.  When you talk, just slow down a bit. 
4. Let me try to do my best.  I may take longer, but if you are patient, I might surprise you.  Don’t always do things for me, but let me try.  Ask me if I want help.   I am proud of my work, even if it is not perfect.  And, please, don’t go back and redo it.
5. Don’t feel sorry for me.  I enjoy life and can make yours  brighter, but only if you let me.  If we respect each other, we can learn from each other. 
6. Be patient when I mess up.  I sometimes say and do things that are not appropriate.  By carefully explaining things to me, you can help me learn proper social skills.  Be understanding when things don’t go well.  Let me know when I have done well.  Your praise goes a long way with me. 
7. Know that I love God -  and God loves me.  I know god doesn’t love me more than other, but I do know he keeps me close to his heart.  God placed me on earth for a reason.  He knows all my imperfections and, best of all, he loves me just the way I am.  Can you do the same? 

(Source: Presbyterian Record)

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